Social Media Etiquette: Facebook Edition

I love writing these blogs because I can say whatever I want because that's what blogs are for. And they're awesome. No rules. Other social media, however, does have some guidelines to maintain sanity amongst the digital masses. Facebook is probably the biggest social media outlet right now and maybe one of the most abused. I think since it is such a broad media, there are a lot of exceptions, in the same light, a lot of ways to abuse it.

Social Media Etiquette: Facebook Edition!!!!

Okay, I'm going to start with one that actually doesn't bug me as much as it pisses me off. And it doesn't really happen on Facebook. The thing that pisses me off is when people think its weird/get upset/are bothered when one of their Facebook friends likes/comments on a status/picture. Example conversation time:

Girl 1: So, I posted this picture of me in my bikini from spring break...
Girl 2: Ohmygod, that super cute green one from Target?
Girl 1: Yeah!
Girl 2: It looks so good on you! Especially when you stopped eating.
Girl 1: OMG thank you girlie! 
Girl 2: I facking love Target. Everything there is so cute.
Girl 1: Like I know. I'd never leave if they served wine while you shopped.
Girl 2: Right!?! I could so go for some Moscato right now. Ugh.
Girl 1: So anyway, I posted that picture and Sam Thomas liked it.
Girl 2: Sam Thomas? That weirdo that you always talk to when you're drunk?
Girl 1: Yeah. I just want to do weird things with him after I have half a fifth of tequila. But, I mean, we text sometimes too. And I see him at the gym and we talk there too.
Girl 2: Oh thats so weird. He probably likes you. What a creeper.
Girl 1:  I know. Can you say restraining order? ehahahahehaha.

THAT SHIT. Here is the thing. If you put something on Facebook AND ACCEPTED A FRIEND REQUEST you are allowing all comments and likes that may ensue. Stop being a huge bitch. I have plenty of friends who are girls who have had half of that conversation with me about someone. No, it's not weird. Thats what Facebook is for. Why are are you posting bikini pics if not for the attention and likes? I just can't understand it and I'm turning SSJ2 thinking about it. If you're a girl and post a status like "Taking a shower", EXPECT dudes to like it.

 Alright, I've said my peace.

Next one is a status that we see all too often.

The super vague, begging for attention status. Don't do it. Everyone knows why your are doing it and no one cares. If you have a problem with/feeling about someone, Facebook isn't the place for it. Ever since Facebook became, we forgot how to handle our problems. Talk to the people. At the very least, text them and don't post it for the world to not care about.

That picture is a good example of another Sam Rule Violation: Airing out your dirty laundry. There is a time and a place for that and it's never and nowhere. Control your emotions, be an adult and talk to these people face to face. I hate when people are mad at their gfs or bfs and post that they're being _____. If you even think about posting it on FB, sounds like you should probably address the "guilty" party and actually fix the problem instead of making it worse. This etiquette blog is turning into a free counseling session.

My last rule of Facebook is The Twitter Rule. Twitter is a social media where you post pics, thoughts, links in 140 character increments. It's basically 1. a way to see what your fave celebs are doing or 2. a place to record every thought you ever had. Twitter was created in 2006. Its 2013. There is no reason for anyone to be posting more than 2 Facebook statuses a day. We have Twitter now. Put whatever you want on that. We expect it. Facebook does not need to be crowded by the fact that your kid didn't want to take care of his toys so now he is in timeout. "Potty training _______ and he keeps shitting on the floor" "Ugh, I don't know how ______ can miss so much. Or hit the ceiling from that angle" "I showed _____ where the toilet handle is" "WHO THE F*&K PUT THE TOILET PAPER ROLL ON BACKWARDS?!?!?!" "Oh good, ______ finally shit in the toilet, too bad it was an upper decker" Those are PERFECT examples of tweets. Horrible examples of FB statuses.

Pretty short list considering all the things Facebook has to offer. Also, if your # is on fb, its fair game. Not gonna add anything to that, your fault.

Please follow these rules or you'll have me freaking out in my room and doing absolutely nothing about it.