1.)
This is the example of something that is impractical that I saw while at the mall...duh. Okay, Scenario Time. I go up to Wetzels and steal like 100 pizza pretzels and most likely eat 6 before security even gets wind. No way ANY mall security guard is in good enough shape to catch this Flash/Hulk baby. So they send the big guns, Axel's(from Twisted Metal) handicap little brother, The Segway RoboGuard. I see him coming at me and this fucker is way faster than expected. Those dudes just zoom around the mall like madmen. Its nuts. Anyway, like a Lion after it's prey, he is closing the gap fast. So I make like the wild gazelle and...use the stairs. Done. I walk away eating the other 94 pizza pretzels.
Okay. Let's say he does catch me. Like, I'm passing passing Victoria's Secret and there is a woman in yoga pants picking out 5 for $25 underwear from the bins(Hey, I've had a gf or two in my day). So naturally, I slow down to drool properly and RoboGuard catches up. He's got me. What does he do? Hit me with a baton? Pepper spray? No. He is a mall security guard and can't use those things. Hand cuff me? No way dude is getting off that segway or risking losing balance and falling off. So, I walk away with 86 pizza pretzels and a chub.
Stupid segway guards.
2.)
There are 26 characters in SSBM. Pikachu and Pichu are 2 of the choices. They are the exact same except Pichu is smaller, lighter, and slightly faster. Honestly, you don't need Pikachu to be faster. Anyway, another glaring difference is that Pichu hurts itself when it uses electric attacks. WHAT. Why pick him? Oh yeah, because his soundbyte when he dies is freaking adorable...and don't worry, you'll hear it a lot. A SSBM wiki ranks Pichu #26 in the game. A game that has the Ice Climbers as a character choice. I'm done convincing you.
3.)
This is America in the new millennium. If your tissue doesn't feel like 500 count sheets when you're blowing your nose, stop shopping at the Dollar Tree.
4.)
This hits close to home because for now I'm at Planet Fitness and those are the only "squat racks" that they have. Most of them are slightly angled like the one in the picture. So if you do any kind of chest press lift, you are going to hurt your wrists or shoulders, depending on which way you compensate. Also, my biggest problem with these machines is that they stop you from using and strengthening all of your stabilizer muscles. When you use regular dumb bells or bar bells, your body uses smaller muscles to stabilize and hold proper form. Since the smith machine's bar defies gravity, you don't use any of those muscles, hindering proper development and increasing chance of injury in real life situations. A benefit of using the smith machine? It's great if you are trying to completely emasculate yourself.
*SIDE NOTE*
Okay, I have literally never heard a human baby boy's penis referred to as anything other than a childish variation of "wee-wee". So question: Is wee-wee the scientific term for a baby's penis? Because I just say dick. Too many different words for the same thing just gets confusing. There is no such thing as a baby thesaurus. It's just a baby dick.
anyway
5.)
A repeat ball is a type of Pokeball used to catch Pokemon you have already registered in your Pokedex. Meaning Pokemon you already have. And far as I know, you can't catch wild Eevees so there is literally no use to this stupid ball. It's a waste of space man. And, to make it worse, it's made from an acorn. Hahaha. stupid game.
If you have anything else you think is impractical, lemme know so I can tell you you're wrong.
And if you care to see my opinions on literally everything else, follow my Twitter @samgregtom
1) You should have stolen the segway
ReplyDelete4) Use fellow patrons at Planet Fitness as your bar
5) They serve a purpose for the hardcore gamers that want to breed pokemon. Because you know, people care about that.
You're right on all counts. But, if they're hardcore gamers, they don't need special balls. They should be adults about it.
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