I love everything about Pokemon. Pokemon was a huge part of my childhood. I watched the tv show, I read the Manga, I collected the cards, I went to the movies in the theaters, I even went to a weekly Pokemon gathering at a toy store where they had promotional cards, badges, battles and trading sessions. It was awesome and now I miss it a lot.
In my old age...old age relative to the topic anyway...I have realized certain things. All of them awesome and confirming my love for the brand. All of them except one glaring realization.
Ash Ketchum is a huge piece of shit.
As a child, I idolized that guy. Now I am putting him up for examination.
Ash Ketchum is a 10 year old Pokemon trainer. His goal is to catch all the Pokemon. Currently, according to Bulbapedia(not making that up) there are 649 different Pocket Monsters. In the Pokemon universe, you can only physically carry 6 Pokemon; a rule created by ?. There is a computer system set up in this realm that will hold your Pokemon that you do not want/can not carry. That means Ash aspires to have 643 Pokemon in his computer. *Numbers not adjusted for evolutions*
Fuck you, Ash.
You want to grab all these animals and throw them in a computer to do nothing for probably the rest of their lives? Taking them away from their families. If it's a parent Pokemon, then the child is quite possibly being orphaned because of you and you aren't even going to use it. Just gonna add a page to your Pokedex. You never thought of catch and release? What if that newly orphaned Pokemon dies because of you. But its cool, because now you have a Venonat chillin' in your PC. NOBODY USES VENONAT. WHY DO YOU NEED A VENONAT?!?! You're literally a spoiled brat who wants a new toy and then just throws it in the corner after 10 minutes never to be used again. GTFOH with that.
And then there is Pikachu. The only justifiable catch you have. You saved a bullied Pokemon from death. Thats really cool of you. Except for the special treatment you give it and throw in all of your other Pokemon's faces. Charizard didn't respect you, not because he didn't think you were a capable trainer, but because you quite obviously played favorites. Charizard isn't a little bitch, so stop treating him like one.
PLUS! Oh yeah Jack-Ash, there is more.
You had no dad(that we were made aware of anyway) and you left your mom. You're 10 dude. Your mom has no one now. She is missing you growing up. She'll never get those moments with you again. When you come back, you probably won't be a virgin anymore. And there is about a 100% chance that Pikachu was your first you gross m-fer. Why did you have to leave so badly? You probably gave your mom some psychological trauma and now she needs therapy and medication. Why couldn't you wait to leave? Selfish.
Obviously, this just bugs me a little bit. I wish the person I looked up to as a child wasn't so awful.
Don't worry Ash. I'll comfort your mom while you're gone. *Insert favorite Pokeball inuendo here*
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